Bathwater
by Harmonde
Summary: Tai loves Matt, but does Matt love him back? PG for slight angst and swearing. Yaoi, Taito.


Bathwater

by Lady Strata

This is a yaoi fic (in other words, two guys together) so if you have a problem with that hit your back button. This is a songfic set to "Bathwater" by No Doubt. Song lyrics are in italics. This is from Tai's POV. Matt and Tai are about 17 in this. Taito. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or "Bathwater." If I owned Digimon, a lot of different people would be together at the end. *coughMattandTaicough*

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You and your museum of lovers

The precious collection you've housed in your covers

My simpleness threatened by my own admission

Every week it seems like you have a different girl on your arm. When I think of how many of them you've slept with I just want to scream. What I wouldn't give to be one of those girls. I want more than anything in the world to lie in your arms after a night of passion, to have you whisper words of love to me instead of them. Do you love them at all? Do you even care about them, Matt? Is the sex all you want?

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And the bags are much too heavy

In my insecure condition

My pregnant mind is fat full with envy again

I get so jealous every time I see your latest "girlfriend." The happy smile on her face whenever you're near almost makes me cry. I wish that I could have that smile on my face, that I could be the one to make your beautiful blue eyes light up. It's getting to be too much for me, hiding the fact that I love you with all my heart. I'm starting to lose sleep over you. I don't know how much longer I can pretend I don't love you.

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But I still love to wash in your old bathwater

Love to think that you couldn't love another

I can't help it...you're my kind of man

I'd love to think that you return my feelings...but I know you don't. You think of me as your best friend, nothing more. I wonder what you would do if I did tell you how I feel. I'm almost certain you would reject me and never want to see me again. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised. I want to stop feeling this way...but I can't. I can't help how I feel. You're the only one for me, Matt.

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Wanted and adored by attractive women

Bountiful selection at your discretion

I know I'm diving into my own destruction

There isn't a girl in school who wouldn't give her right arm just to spend one minute alone with you. I can hardly blame them. I mean, look at you-soft blond hair that I ache to run my fingers through, beautiful blue eyes that I could lose myself in, warm lips that I'd love to feel against my own. You have every girl wrapped around your little finger. The most attractive girls in school are there for you to pick and choose from. I know that I'm just hurting myself by loving you like this, but I don't care.

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So why do we choose the boys that are naughty?

I don't fit in so why do you want me?

And I know I can't tame you...but I just keep trying

You're such a rebel. I guess that's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. You do things that I wouldn't even _think _of doing. They say opposites attract. We couldn't be more different. You're popular, handsome, cool...everything I'm not. I'm just a freak with weird hair. Sometimes I wonder why you're even friends with me. I think if we hadn't been in the Digi-World together, you wouldn't even know I exist.

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'Cause I love to wash in your old bathwater

Love to think that you couldn't love another

I'm on your list with all your other women

But I still love to wash in your old bathwater

You make me feel like I couldn't love another

I can't help it...you're my kind of man

If only you loved me, too. My world would be complete. I'd never need anything or anyone else ever again, as long as you were with me. You have no idea what you do to me, how you make me feel. I can't love anyone else the way I love you. I feel like you're my soul mate, but how can that be? We have absolutely nothing in common except that we were both once Digidestined. My brain says we weren't meant to be...but my heart is telling me something completely different.

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So I pacify myself with kisses and cuddles

Diligently doubtful through all kinds of trouble

Then I find myself choking on all my contradictions

I started dating Sora to take my mind off of my feelings for you. It hasn't helped me at all. Every time I kiss Sora, every time I hold her, I wish it were you. Now it's gotten so that the only way I can make it through our dates is by imagining that I'm kissing you instead of her. I know it's horrible to be doing this to Sora, but I can't bring myself to break up with her. I don't want to hurt her, but I know that I'm doing that already. I have to stop this. I have to tell her I can't do this anymore. I say, "I love you, Sora." But immediately after I say to myself, "I love you, Matt."

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'Cause I still love to wash in your old bathwater

Love to think that you couldn't love another

Share a toothbrush...you're my kind of man

I still love to wash in your old bathwater

Make me feel like I couldn't love another

I can't help it...you're my kind of man

You asked me to meet you in the park tonight. I'm sitting here on a bench waiting for you. I look up at the stars and wonder why you asked me to meet you here. I've decided that I'm going to tell you I love you. I was given the Crest of Courage, dammit! I can't hide the fact that I'm gay and in love with you just because I'm afraid of your reaction. I have to be brave, show some courage for God's sake. 

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No I can't help myself

I can't help myself

I still love to wash in your old bathwater

Oh my God. There you are, walking towards me. I'm so nervous that I'm starting to sweat. How am I going to tell you? Maybe I should just forget about it. No! I can't. I've decided that I'm going to tell you and that's what I'm going to do. It doesn't matter how you react. I won't have to keep this inside anymore. 

You smile as you sit down beside me on the bench. We make small talk for a few minutes, and finally I decide that I'm just going to tell you now and get it over with. I take a deep breath, open my mouth...

"Tai, there's something I have to tell you." 

My mouth snaps shut. Damn! Just when I was about to tell you. Wait a minute...what if you've already figured it out? Of course. That has to be it. Why else would you look so serious all of a sudden? I'm about to tell you this, but you start talking first.

"Tai...I'm in love with a guy. I've felt this way about him for a long time, but no one knows how I feel. I haven't told anyone because I'm not sure what they'll think. I don't know what to do. I feel like this guy is my soul mate, and I love him so much that it hurts. I know you probably think that I'm a freak and don't want anything to do with me, but I had to tell someone. I can't keep it a secret anymore."

I'm speechless. Absolutely, completely speechless. I probably look like an idiot, staring at you with wide eyes and my mouth hanging open. Then what you've just said registers in my brain and my heart fills with hope. You can't be in love with me...can you? I swallow nervously and lean towards you.

"Who are you in love with, Matt?"

You look up and right into my eyes. Your eyes are filled with happy tears, happy because you realize that I accept you even after you've confessed that you're gay. There is a small smile on your face and you lean towards me and open your mouth to tell me who you love.

The End

Who does Matt love? IT'S A MYSTERY! *laughs insanely* I'll write a sequel to this as soon as possible. Please be kind and review. 


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